An Open Letter to Our Local Cinema

OPEN LETTERS

Thanks for nothing Giant Movie Chain

Dear Giant Movie Chain,

Thank you unnamed Giant Movie Chain for providing me another evening of cinematic entertainment. It had been a while since I had enjoyed the experience of watching a first-run movie on a big screen. So when my wife suggested or, to be more accurate, insisted that we actually go out to see a film, I was unsure of what to expect.

Well, let me be the first to congratulate you. Not only did you meet most of my expectations, you exceeded many of them. And then some.

I expected the tickets to be pricey, of course. Score one for you. Two tickets cost us $34. By my calculation, I could rent five fairly current films online for that amount and still have enough left over for a box of microwave popcorn.

Which brings me to your refreshment offerings. For one bag of popcorn and two drinks, I forked out another $12. And this wasn’t for your supersized buckets and barrels. This was just for an ordinary bag of popcorn and two 12-ounce drinks.

Luckily, we arrived early since our chosen film was playing in one of your eight “theaters” that had only sixty seats. Historically, I was used to cinemas with seating for hundreds, not dozens. In the previous century, this was a common feature of movie houses since it helped accommodate the giant movie screen.

Now here’s where you let me down a bit. I had hoped that for our $46 expenditure we would get to see our movie on a big screen. You know, one that is measured in yards rather than inches.

I never dreamed that we would have gone to all this trouble to watch a movie on a glorified TV screen. Granted, it was bigger than our home TV. But that’s only because we can’t yet afford one of the new 96-inch home theaters. If we could, then I’m not sure there would be much reason to patronize your facility anymore. Except perhaps to experience your sound system.

Here, you again exceeded my expectations. You have a very powerful sound system and you’re not afraid to use it. In fact, I can still hear it ringing in my ears two days later.

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