The only way to increase confidence

If you want to become TRULY confident you must have the humility of owning who you are and where you are at and totally accept that. The letting go of the beliefs that you need to be different in order to be liked or loved or fuckable. Knowing that you can break the rules, and get into trouble and it is fine. That no matter what anyone says or does you don’t need their validation.

When you are standing in line next to that beautiful woman, and you are nervous, realize that this is the pent-up masculine energy of self-expression.

You feel that urge to say something to express your desires for her, or for whatever else you want to say in that moment, but you just CAN’T. You are shackled by thoughts of needing to be more than you are. By the fear of getting in trouble, of looking like a loser. You suppress your masculinity in this way.

Just say shit that comes to mind.

It moves forward. When you are nervous while standing near her and you feel the fear, don’t you feel like you’re smashing your foot on the emergency brake? It pushes and pushes but you hold it back with self-doubt. It keeps pushing and you use self-doubt to hold it in check. When she walks away the pressure is relieved. “DO IT, I CAN’T, DO IT, I CAN’T, DO IT!!!! NO!!!!!”

The internal tug of war is fierce. Some guys let go of the pressure and say what they want. They have some success, but they can also weird some women out. They also can be pushy.

But YOU will take it to the next level. You will express unapologetically WITH emotional availability. With your heart. NOW she can actually FEEL emotionally, the man in front of her. Being emotionally available means allowing what is inside to be expressed outwardly. The true you.

It’s important to note: You can still be afraid and do it anyway. You’re not hiding it.

She feels your congruence…which means that what she sees in front of her matches her intuition, and she knows you at that moment. She trusts her assessment of you. She can relax, and connect with you on some level.

When you exercise your unapologetic heart-felt self-expression, she will naturally be inclined open up and connect with you. Maybe she won’t go out with you, maybe she will, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you allowed your masculine energy to push you through limiting beliefs and fears. It won’t be long until they dissolve. And as you let them go, and experience reality instead of your imagined state of reality your fear will dissolve as it is disproven false. Your confidence will come forth.

When you feel that tug of war inside of you….that denying of your expression (confidence) she feels that incongruency within you. When you try that pickup line she doesn’t feel safe, she feels inauthenticity. She feels the LACK of true masculine expression. She feels your need to get validation, the need to get something externally to complete you. She does not want to open up and connect herself to that because if she does, she knows she will completely drain herself into you.

Ed Baxter

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